Almost a year ago I wrote a post about how in my small Indiana town life, I was extremely unhappy. I tell the story of how I was depressed and anxious and needed more, so I took matters into my own hands. I quit my job, dropped out of school and moved across the country to start my life as a cabin crew member.
A year later and do I still feel so confident about my decision? Yes, of course. Do I have bad days? Of course I do. More than I would like to admit.
In this past year, I have learned so much about who I am and what I want from life. What I want to acomplish and what I need to do to make those dreams come true. While I am looking forward to a new year, I think it is important to also reflect on the time that has passed. I think it is important to remember your successes as well as all of the trials. We learn more from the mistakes that we have made than the successes that we have.
This is a post to reflect. To remember the good times and the hard times. To review them and to learn from them.
I work on airplanes, so career is much different than most.
I love my job. I get to see the world. I get to meet new people and experience different cultures everyday. I get to smile at hundreds of people a day. I didn't know that I would also get wrinkles and back pains and greasy skin and 3am wake up calls and 16 hour work days. Also, I double as a trash can. It's fine.
I love my career, but hey, it's still work. Nothing is perfect. I am happy that I have found something I love despite all the bad things that come along with it. That's all anyone can ask for when it comes to a career.
I am also excited that starting January 2017 I am moving from my first base in New York to a new base in Denver, Colorado. EEEEEEP!
I have been writing so much this year and it is my new favorite thing to do! Working on this blog has given me so much joy in the little time that I have to actually sit and get to it!
Aside from that, I have been working very hard on writing a novel. Which, may or may not ever be a real thing, but that's okay. It makes me happy (and stressed) for now, and that's what matters.
Fine on my own? I guess not. Love is a tricky thing. You work hard for it and sometimes it still doesn't work out the way that you needed it to. I think the best thing we can do is look forward and hope for the best.
My heart has felt broken a great deal over this past year. Sleepless nights in hotel rooms and lonely sunday mornings will do that to you. I find myself comparing my love life to those around me and feeling down on myself because it looks like other people my age have got it right. I have beaten myself up over this. Is it me? Is there something wrong with the way I act or the way I look?
This year has taught me a lot about what I deserve from a partner. I deserve someone who wants to be with me now. Someone who treats me like I am not crazy for feeling a certain way. Someone who isn't conflicted about spending time with me. We all deserve that.
Even though it will never be easy, we all need a little heartbreak in our lives, it teaches us what we deserve.
This year has been the loneliest year of my life. I have much time to myself to think and read and write and worry and overthink and pace and cry and watch Grey's Anatomy and whatever else.
There was a long while where the loneliness was blunt and hurtful. I would spend hours on facebook messaging friends and updating my facbook status, posting pictures on instagram tryingto get a response from people. 100 likes can make you feel less lonely if for only a few minutes, but it always falls back.
I finally found how to place my loneliness in a more positive light. I have grown comfortable in spending time in a coffee shop by myself. I go see movies that no one else cares to see and I read books. I work on my writing and it makes me feel less lonely.
Loneliness is a feeling, not a fact, and though it can be painful, it's temporary.
I would say that this past year, I have been happier than I have ever been in my life. I could also argue that it has been one of the worst years of my life.
Through the literal and metaphorical ups and downs in my life this year, I have learned that happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be sad. It is 100% up to you. If you wake up everyday and think about the bad things in your life, your day is going to be just that, bad. If you wake up and make the choice that today will be good, it will be. It's as simple as that.
Is everyday day bright and shiny for me? Nope. Not even going to lie about it. Somedays are crap. Dark and Twisty. Not good. Can I blame anything but myself? Also no.
Happiness is a choice, and you can't count on anyone but yourself to make the decision for you. So get up, go for a run, have a cup of coffee and choose happiness.
Music of 2016
Music is a big part of my life. You can usually tell what kind of a mood I am in based off of the current playlist that I have in my ears, and despite popular belief, it is not always Taylor Swift.
I made this playlist of my most played songs this year. They arent all from 2016, but they are all songs that I easily related to at some point this year. Music is a powerful thing in life. A song that captures exactly how you are feeling can help guide you through that feeling. I think we all need a little help with that sometimes.
I hope you enjoy this music...
What did you learn in 2016?
Three years ago I made the bold (and crazy) decision to drop out of school, quit my job and move across the country to start my life as a cabin crew member. With my suit freshly pressed and my shiny wings pinned to my heart, I was ready to take on the world. ....read more.
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