In my last post, I wrote a few paragraphs about finding happiness and I wanted to take some time to expand on that. Even though I do find that happiness is a choice, it does take much more than waking up in the morning and saying, "Hey, today is gonna be great!" Nothing is or ever will be that simple.
The last year has been a difficult one for me. Losing a great love, losing a great friend, and spending a lot of my time overcome with a dark loneliness. In my happiest year, I was also filled with spurts of anxiety and depression.
It takes a lot to change your way of thinking. It is not an easy thing to do. It takes hard work and practice. I find myself sometimes saying something negative, realizing it, and having to force myself to take a step back and look at the whole picture.
For myself, I had to sit down and write a map to my mind. I use this map to show myself how achievable happiness is when you look at the bigger picture.
This is what I came up with.
I have been working on a book. It's really hard. Everything about it is hard. Hard enough that every once in awhile, I tell myself that I can go without a certain scene. I can latch these two parts together even though it doesn't really make sense. I can write in a certain tense that is easier to write in but ultimately will make my writing mediocre.
I will write for hours and hours and when I pull those tricks, I always end up unhappy with the product that I have produced. I always have to go back and rewrite and move even more words around to stitch the mess back up. It would be much better if I told myself from the very beginning that me and my writing are worth the hard work.
While I apply this to my writing, you should try applying it to your life. set high standards for yourself, you'll be a better person for it.
While I think that having high standards for yourself is a healthy practice, I think that having those same standards for the people around us can be damaging. No, I am not saying to accept something that you don't deserve from the people around you. I am saying that you can't expect every other person in the world to think the same way that you do, and that is okay. No two people are alike.
Getting angry because someone isn't standing up for the same thing as you are will only make your happiness harder to find.
On a daily basis we all come in contact with people that we have never met before. Some encounters are pleasant and others are horrific. In any situation, it is important to look at the bigger picture.
I am a firm believer that people are generally good. I don't believe that the majority of people wake up in the morning and think of ways to make life harder for people.
I think when we have a negative experience with someone, we need to take the time to understand that they have a specific situation that brought them to react the way that they did. If we all took a little bit more time to see life through the eyes of others, we would all be more humble and content.
There are 7 billion people on this Earth ,and just like our fingerprints, no two people have the same personality. No two people have the same likes, dislikes, beliefs, or a million other traits.
Accept people for who they are, because the definition of what is "normal" or "weird" is subjective, and not up to you.
Simply put, unless it directly affects your happiness, let people live a life that they want to live. Period.
Sometimes things aren't meant to work out. Your dream job turns into a nightmare. Your best friend is always taking advantage of you. The love of your life moves in with someone else. Whatever it is, sometimes, even though it's painful, you have to let it go.
I think that there are some things in life that just aren't good for us. They get in our heads and jeopardize our confidence in ourselves. It's important to consider the long-term affects the situation can have, and not just what you are feeling right now.
The hardest thing I have ever had to do was let go of the one thing that made me feel like I was worth anything, and these days, I know that I am better for it.
What are some ways you have found happiness in your life? Comment below.
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A little over a year ago I made the bold (and crazy) decision to drop out of school, quit my job and move across the country to start my life as a cabin crew member. With my suit freshly pressed and my shiny wings pinned to my heart, I was ready to take on the world. ....read more.
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